The desire of adult children to move a parent is filled with worry and fear. Worry that something will happen to the parent. Fear of the parent’s premature death. I know because we attempted to convince my father to move from his home of 50+ years after mom passed away. We thought he needed more activity and to be around people. The truth was, dad was a loner. If he wanted to be around people he would go seek them out by going to the grocery store or visiting the zoo. My father shocked me by talking to complete strangers when there were times he would barely speak to his children. After multiple attempts to move him, we gave up and he remained in the family home until his death.
My experience with dad is truly one of a kind. He was exceptionally healthy, didn’t have any memory problems and was determined to remain home. This isn’t common experience. As a professional caregiver by way of being a court appointed guardian and a power of attorney, I’ve negotiated moves with my own clients that they weren’t certain they wanted to make. For most of them with significant health issues or memory problems, moving to a care community was the right thing to do. For many older adults it’s the right thing to do. But, there are many considerations and planning ahead is beneficial.
Pamela D. Wilson
- Evaluation of preferred living situation resulting in community recommendations including independent, assisted, memory care, skilled nursing etc.
We look at the total picture of finances, lifestyle, health and preferences to help you make the right decision in choosing a care community. There are many considerations often missed by individuals and families that result in multiple moves, if a move isn’t planned carefully. We have a process we’ve developed to support you in the decision making process. We’re also not a referral agency, meaning that we don’t receive monies from the communities or services we recommend or coordinate. We represent and work for you. We also coordinate medical information, medical appointments and care oversight for individuals who move to care communities but have family at a distance. While it’s a common thought that care communities provide all the care that one needs, this is only true if an individual is fully able to advocate for their own care needs. Individuals with memory loss or who aren’t familiar with the health care system often benefit from a care advocate.
- Family meetings and discussions regarding care to support consensus
We meet with you and your loved one to discuss the benefits of living in care communities including the costs and what services are and are not provided by each type of care community. For many individuals, the idea of a retirement community, conjures up the old idea of nursing homes that weren’t visually appealing. How many times have you heard from your parent, “don’t put me in a nursing home”. Care communities of today are very different from care communities of year’s past.
We’ll discuss the pros and cons of remaining in your current home versus moving to a retirement community and when a move makes practical sense. Statements of “needing 24 hour care” from medical and other professionals unfamiliar with care offerings often scare individuals and family members. We’ll share the myths and the realities of the alternatives of receiving care so that you can make an informed decision.